Rick Mast
Car: No. 14      Pontiac
Sponsor: Conseco

     Now this ol' boy almost ALWAYS seems to have a look of constipation on his face. I wonder why....heh heh.

     Maybe it's his year 2000 stats. He qualified for 29 Winston Cup races. His average start was 23rd and his average finish was 27th. He finished 33rd in the Winston Cup standings, and although $1, 115,515 in winnings might seem like no kiss from yer sister, it's still fairly modest compared to what the big boys win. Mast DID garner 2 Top 10 finishes in 2000: At the Pennsylvania 500 he came from 35th spot to finish 8th, and at the MNBA.com 400 he pooped across the finish line in 10th place after qualifying 2nd. Or maybe it's that after 13 years on Winston Cup racing, Rick Mast has yet to win a race. This lost soul has started 338 races, and has 7 top 5's and 36 top 10's to show for it.

     But the true irony could be this little quote from his official NASCAR bio: "Rick Mast's life might best be described as "Tom Sawyer goes NASCAR Racing." Yes...y'all read that right. But I'd hardly deign to compare Rick Mast with Tom Sawyer And surely Mark Twain is spinning in his grave at the thought of it. I rather we naught demean the great works and creations of Mark Twain, especially consider how I shall soon be married into the family. Perhaps a better and more apt metaphor for Rick Mast would be to describe his life as "Natty Bumppo goes NASCAR Racing." Rick Mast, after all, is to Winston Cup, what James Fennimore Cooper was to Amercian Literature.

     So....will that constipated look still be there in 2001?? Heh heh.....you KNOW it will. To quoth James Fennimore Cooper: "Be all ready to clench it boys.....be ready to clench!"